Bah Hum Love: Episode 1

Coop finally gets to go home and start her version of Singles Awareness Day. Meg joins her at lunch with news of what she did.


Coop is storming out of the office after calling her boss with a cough.

“Coop! Wait!”


Meg is running after her.

“Stupid Meg. Stupid show. Stupid Day. I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate it.” Coop mumbles to herself.


“Coop!”

“Stop chasing me Meg. I’m mad at you!”


Coop makes it out the door and almost trips on the stairs as she’s trying desperately to get in her car before Meg catches up to her. She’s red with fury.

“A little dramatic now aren’t we?” Coop asks me.

I’m not dramatic. I’ve just got a way with words. Anyway . . . Coop is red with fury. In fact, I haven’t seen her this red since the one time she was in the shower and--


“Hey!”

Coop interrupts me and looks up at the sky . . . where she thinks my voice is coming from.


“No, Val. NO,” she scolds me like a dog.

“Coop?”


Coop was so distracted by me, Meg was able to catch up to her before she made it to her car.

“What Meg?” Coop asks as she opens her back door and throws her stuff in the back seat.

“Are you mad?” Meg asks with a grin.

Coop simply stares at Meg. She looks like that straight face emoji . . . but red.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Meg answers her own question, still smiling.

Coop still does not comment as she opens up her front door and slides inside the driver’s seat. She puts on her seatbelt and slams the door. She starts the car and shifts the gear to reverse. As she looks out the window to make sure the coast is clear for the car to start moving, she realizes Meg is mouthing something to her. Coop is mad at Meg right now, but she’s not a monster. She rolls down her window.


“I’m coming over after work,” Meg says.

Coop lets out some sort of growl from her throat.

“No, you’re not.”

Coop starts to back out.

“Yes I am.”

Meg follows the car on foot as Coop slowly cuts the wheel to back out of her spot.

“No, Meg, you’re not.”

“Oh yes indeedy!” Meg starts to shout because Coop is pulling faster away.

“No,” Coop hollers out the window.


“Yes!” Meg yells in response.

Coop sticks her head out of the window as her car comes to a stop at the end of the parking lot.

“Fine! But bring a box of wine.”


And she speeds off . . . but not too fast because she’s a law abiding citizen.



A few hours later . . . trust me, you didn’t miss anything. Coop just drove home. She cried in the car when she almost hit a squirrel. Then, she got home, let her dog out, apologized to him about leaving him at home alone on their least favorite holiday. She promised him she would never do that again. Coop then fixed herself a glass of wine, a second glass of wine, and a vodka tonic. She cried some more while she watched the news and other various daytime talk shows. And now we’re here.

“Hey! I did not cry when I almost hit that squirrel. The sun was in my eyes.”

Sure, Coop. Sure.

There’s a knock at the door. Coop hops up off of the floor. She checks her face in the mirror in the guest bathroom and notices how puffy her eyes are.


“They’re really not that puffy, are they?”


Of course not. It’s just Meg anyway.

“Huh? I have my own personal peep hole now. Thanks Val.”

You do have a peep hole. It’s on your door.

Coop opens the door without looking through her peephole. I guess I should be flattered she trusts me telling her it was Meg when it could have been a serial killer.


Meg smiles at Coop and holds up two boxes of wine. One white and one red. Both sweet. Meh.

“What’s meh?” Coop asks.


Two sweet? Meg couldn’t have provided a little variety and done one a little drier.

“Well, you aren’t having any, so it doesn’t matter, does it?”

Rude.

“Who are you talking to?” Meg asks, confused.

“What?” Coop turns to look at Meg. “Oh. No one. Just Joe.”

Joe is Coop’s dog.

“Okay!” Meg says chipperly. “Well, I brought your wine. Can I come in?”

Coop steps out of the way and lets Meg inside. She shuts the door behind her and walks toward the kitchen.

Coop grabs the wine glass she used earlier out of the sink and goes to grab one for Meg out of the cupboard. She pauses.

“Wait. Can you even have any? It’s lunch. Don’t you have to go back to work?” Coop asks.

Meg smiles . . . she sure does smile a lot. And she’s friends with Coop? Interesting.


“I took the rest of the day off. I got that cough from you.”

“Right,” Coop says as she gets the glass out for Meg.

Coop fills both glasses to the rim with the white and hands one over to Meg. She walks into her living room and takes a seat on the couch. Meg joins her.


“So, spill the beans.”


“Well,” Meg starts, “I know you’ve been having a hard time finding love and you said that one night if I could set you up to do it. I was browsing online at work one day and I saw the ad for LTV’s new show. They were looking for a bachelorette and I thought to myself ‘Coop! Coop is perfect for this.’ I sent in an application recommending you and I guess you won!”

Coop shakes her head. “I meant like setting me up with someone you know, Meg. Not this.”

Coop sets her half empty wine glass on the coffee table and picks up the envelope containing information on the show.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be more excited.” Meg pouts.

Finally, she does have a facial expression other than grinning.

Meg places her glass down next to Coop’s. She grabs the papers from Coop and looks them over. Her brows furrow.

“You know what? No.”


“No?” Coop asks.

“No. You are not going to be a grouch about this. I did what you asked and you are going to try this missy. You can be angry and sad and silly all you want today because it’s Valentine’s Day . . .”

Coop looks at Meg with her eyes widened. She opens her mouth to say something, but Meg puts her hand up to stop her.

“. . . yes, I said it! Valentine’s Day! Valentine’s, Valentine’s, Valentine’s! As I was saying, you can act like a crazy lady today because I know how you feel about the 14th, but you will call this number tomorrow. You will,” Meg says all in one breath.

I’m starting to like this one.


Catch another episode of Bah Hum Love next week on the Shay Shay AF blog!


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